Adultery site founder: I won't cheat

'NOR SHOULD MY WIFE': Mr Noel Biderman said that he would be upset if his wife cheated on him.


    Oct 31, 2013

    Adultery site founder: I won't cheat

    YOU would expect a man who has only good things to say about infidelity to be bad at his own marriage.

    But Mr Noel Biderman, founder of website Ashley Madison that matches cheating spouses, said he does not cheat on his wife.

    He said that he and wife Amanda, who have two children, are faithful to each other and that he would be upset if his wife cheated on him.

    "If my wife were engaging such a service, then clearly our relationship would be in trouble," Mr Biderman told Online Personals Watch, an Internet news-magazine programme.

    He explained that while being monogamous works for him, it may not be the way for others.

    His wife feels the same way. "I would be devastated if (Noel cheated) on me," Amanda said.

    "But I would not blame a website... It is servicing a need out there. And, unfortunately, it exists. It's sad," she told the New York Daily News., which Mr Biderman started 11 years ago, has announced plans to set up a website in Singapore. My Paper broke the news last week.

    It sparked a public outcry, with Singaporeans and politicians insisting that its maxim - "Life is short. Have an affair" - is not what we want.

    Minister for Social and Family Development Chan Chun Sing said in a Facebook post that he is against any company or website that harms marriages.

    "Promoting infidelity undermines trust and commitment between a husband and wife, which are core to marriage," he said in response to media reports of the planned local launch.

    "Our marriage vows make it clear that marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. This includes staying faithful to one another," Mr Chan said.

    But Mr Biderman does not agree. He told The New Paper: "It's naive to believe that cheating is not happening now in Singapore. It is. So, are you going to remove these people from the community?"

    He was speaking en route to a television interview in Sweden.

    Mr Biderman, 42, said: "I don't know what the minister's mandate is like, but I assure you, he and so many people in similar roles don't truly understand monogamy from the social-science perspective.

    "We humans believe that we are monogamous, but we are not. It is these unfaithful acts that have helped us stay married. After all, it (cheating) is a needed relief. In a marriage, certain priorities take precedence over others, such as children, finances and shelter over sexual needs. If you are cheating, it helps you stay in the marriage."

    Mr Biderman said that he does not think "just a website can convince people to have affairs, except if they are already determined to do so".

    When asked if he will continue his foray into Singapore after all the criticism, he said: "I might be coming in the later part of the year."