Mar 31, 2015

    Troubled by failed dream of being a cop

    DEAR Troubleshooter,

    I am a male employee in my 20s, and I haven't been able to get over how I failed to make my dream come true.

    I've wanted to be a police officer since I was a child. I adored a motorcycle policeman I saw in town. My adoration turned into my dream of becoming a police officer who would help people.

    At first, I passed a highly competitive employment test to be a police officer. However, I suffered a leg injury during training at a police academy.

    The severe discipline at the academy made life unbearable for me. So, I quit several months later.

    I made the decision to do so. But I regret doing it and I feel so helpless.

    I sometimes find myself blaming others. I was obsessed with self-hatred. My pride discouraged me from asking others for advice, so I have been struggling alone.

    I took another job about 1½ years later. I talked myself into believing that this is the life, and live every day trying to get used to it.

    However, I sometimes find myself depressed or imagining how it would have been if I could have made my dream come true. I understand some people don't have the aptitude for a job, but I have yet to free myself from feeling utterly defeated.

    I'm aware I need to find a solution to this matter by myself, but I would be very grateful if you could offer me some advice.


    D, TOKYO



    Dear Mr D,

    You say you haven't been able to recover after you failed to make your dream come true. But after reading your letter, I can't help but feel you have pushed yourself into a severe situation and are now unnecessarily worrying about all this.

    Why not release yourself from the curse that you feel like a failure? I think if you can pull that off, you'll feel better.

    You quit work because you got injured and realised on your own that you were not suited for it. As you quit of your own free will, don't take it as a failure in such a negative way, but rather see it as an opportunity to change jobs and live better.

    We are given options in life, so if you couldn't make one dream come true, find another.

    You wanted a job that helps people. Such work is not limited to that of a police officer. Why not look for another job that helps people and try to do that?

    You can't get back on your feet if you worry too much about your past. You are still young. So don't look back. Think how you can live happily from now on.